Feeling Defeated? Tap Into This!

By Donna Gates, as seen on:

Defeat can have a way of bringing out the best in us.

This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to be a part of Hay House’s I Can Do It! Conference. I was excited for the opportunity – these conferences have a very savvy audience thirsting for quality information.

Several hundred people were gathered and I knew that the presentation, full of cutting-edge information that I had spent weeks gathering, would educate and hopefully inspire.

Mid-way through the lecture, however, several attendees walked out. I found myself incredibly distracted. I wanted to call out, “Don’t leave! What about my Power Point?! It’s packed with life-changing information.” I wondered if they were bored. What if they did not like me?

Suddenly, I felt like I was in middle school again, wanting to fit it. I felt defeated – as if those attendees represented the entire audience.

At the conclusion of the lecture, a few of these defectors were waiting for me outside the event hall. Could I have said something offensive? I braced myself for some type of conflict.

They were upset. But not at me. At the seemingly sub-zero temperature in the room!


I gathered addresses and promised to email my power point that evening, and then I realized where I was – I was standing at a table full of all the wondrous books by Hay House authors – and it dawned on me – what a perfect place and perfect time to learn an invaluable lesson.

In a moment where we feel defeat, we may spiral into other feelings of shame, guilt, fear or sadness. When we are defeated, our thoughts may scatter and we are anywhere but in the present moment.

While defeat may summon up every small and degrading thought that you could think about yourself, defeat also asks you to think bigger.

Defeat challenges you to rise up and face the very monster that shattered your dreams or stomped all over your self-image.

Whether it is life circumstances or your own actions that defeated you, there is nothing to do but find within you the very light that has carried you through both life’s highs and lows.

And of course, this light is love.

It is the eternal part of you that never gives up – even when your mind, your body or your spirit is ready to throw in the towel. Love is the thing that picks you up, dusts you off, and reminds you of your true purpose.

When it comes to health, we have a tendency to look outside ourselves for what we think is healthy. Maybe it’s a certain size jeans, a full head of hair, or sun-kissed skin. Whatever it is, we are told what is healthy. And we believe what we are told.

No one ever says, “Healthy is what feels good.”

Instead, we are told that healthy is what looks good.

Too often, we rely on an external image to validate our very personal and very private dreams. And too often, we come out of it feeling worse about ourselves.

When we approach the body with LOVE, health is less about appearance. Numbers on the scale matter little when it comes to a well-balanced immune system or an endocrine system that supports energy, joy or fertility.

LOVE enables us to look at food and the body as co-creators, rather than as adversaries.

LOVE allows us to see the truth in every circumstance, every diet and every person.

LOVE unites us with our purpose and allows our inner light to shine.

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