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The Way to BE

Are You Struggling with the Perfection Monster?

By Donna Gates, as seen on:

Oh, the Perfection Monster!

You've met, right? If you haven't, consider yourself lucky.

The Perfection Monster may seem orderly, pure, and beautiful. But, don't be fooled!

You see — I've had many encounters with the Perfection Monster.

It always happens when I am focused on a deadline. When I am too lost in the details. When I get hung up on the results. Or, maybe I'm not paying attention to the people in my life — and the Perfection Monster creeps up behind me.

You may run into the Perfection Monster when you are down on your luck — when things seem like they can't get any worse. Speaking from experience, this is when I have been hardest on myself.

You will see the Perfection Monster when it is least welcome in your life. Like in the midst of healing from a broken relationship or trying to make financial ends meet.

This is because the Perfection Monster takes life very seriously. So it loves very serious life issues. It is always moving from one project to another, one person to another — always attempting to fix what seems imperfect. Control what is out of balance. Eliminate what is wrong.

The Perfection Monster is so uncomfortable in its own skin. All it sees are problems and flaws. If you become friends with the Perfection Monster, you too begin to see the world as dismal, dark, and broken.

I do not recommend hanging out with the Perfection Monster.

Real perfection is wholeness. Totality. It is the ability to see it ALL — including the goofy mistakes, the missteps, and the errors — as a part of something infinite and totally complete.

Things like beauty, order, and purity come from the quirks, the kinks, the bends, and the obstacles in life.

Real perfection cannot be measured and adhered to like a set of laws. Real perfection is the good and the bad. The dark and the light. It is the constant dance between utter fullness and absolute emptiness.

The end of the year is often a time when we look back on how fast the year has sped past us and on all the things we didn't achieve. All the projects left unchecked. All the goals not achieved. It's part of the reason new year's resolutions offer such promise. Such hope.

In health or weight-loss goals, I believe in honoring where you are. As Abraham teaches, "I am where I am." And where you are is at the edge of changing your perspective to gain a sense of relief. To do that, I say take it step by step.

For my clients, I would recommend first adding a small amount of fermented vegetables to meals or a few ounces of a probiotic beverage like coconut water kefir. That's all.

But people often feel they have to change everything at once, because they want the end goal now. That is the Perfection Monster sabotaging your health, longevity, mental and emotional well-being.

Remember that there is a little bit of light in every fall, every blemish, and every failure. Go ahead and shoo the Perfection Monster and the expectations and the stress along because there's nothing here to fix.


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  • Erin

    I've never posted on anything before but I needed to read that at this very moment so thank u!!!

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